Sunday, December 6, 2009

Elevator Operators

There is a certain degree of quietude found only in elevators - soft jazz punctuated only by the golden 'ding' of the brightly lit numbers, spiraling upwards or downwards in unison with our motion.

But when you are on the first floor in a 37 foot building with an office on the 35th floor and the minute you stroll into the elevator some jerk presses all the buttons, then gives you a malicious smile after sauntering out casual-as-can-be, you kind of want to kill someone.*

And this is why we need to reinstate elevator operators.

1.) The sheer stupidity displayed in the paragraph above would be avoided, unless the elevator operator in question is suicidal and decides to press all the buttons himself, in which case he will soon be dead, as I will have strangled him in a paroxysm of fury.

2.) Elevators are everywhere. Americans are lazy. The job market is reeling.

On the other hand though, I do like pressing elevator buttons by myself if for no other reason that that they 'ding' and light up.

How old am I again?

*not a true story.